As a foodie, naturally one of my favourite activities is visiting my favourite local cafe for a cuppa and a bite to eat. Now I’m a Mum, the experience looks somewhat different to before but that doesn’t stop me from going when we can!

I know the thought of your toddler working through some big emotions in public can be enough to want to stay at home, so I thought I’d share some of my top tips that I lean on to make cafe or restaurant outings easier for all. Before I start, I should probably say that sometimes a toddler will not be in the mood no matter what you try, and my recommendation on days like that is to grab it takeaway and head to your local park for a picnic. There’s only so much we can do, right?

MY TOP TIPS FOR TAKING YOUR TODDLER TO CAFES WITH CONFIDENCE

1) ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS - Young children love to move, they’re working almost every waking minute on learning to move their bodies. Which makes sense when you read Nathan Wallis’ explanation on brain development and how the second part of the brain to come ‘on-line’ is the midbrain, called the movement brain (after the brainstem, the survival brain, that comes first). With cafes being a mainly seated activity that, let’s be honest, is mainly for the enjoyment of adults, it pays to adjust your expectations of what they’re going to be happy with. A long 3 course lunch strapped into a high chair almost guarantees an unhappy camper.
2) CHOOSE YOUR TIMING - This is key and can be a deal breaker for your outing. I recommend avoiding your cafe date at peak busy hours, or too close to your child’s nap time, or too close to lunch/milk time. I love going for lunch at 11am, settling in and ordering quickly so our food arrives before our toddler is too hungry and before the lunch rush kicks in.
3) PACK ALL THE SNACKS - Hangry toddler on your hands and a delay in the cafe kitchen? When I order food off a cafe or restaurant menu, I tend to order a dish I will love that also has ingredients I know my toddler will eat, instead of opting for the kids menu. Sadly, I’ve found that most cafes and restaurants fill their kids menu with highly processed options and as you know, I’m all about the real foods here! If there’s a delay in our food coming out, I have ‘bits from the fridge’ in a lunchbox to tide him over until the meal arrives, or to get him started with and then I add to it once the meal arrives.
4) ORDER OFF THE EXTRAS MENU - Have you ever noticed at the end of most menus they’ll have a ‘sides’ or ‘extras’ menu with options you can add to your meal? If I order a dish for my toddler and I, I’ll often add two sides to the dish that I know he would enjoy such as tomatoes or an egg or mushrooms. Take your pick or encourage your child to choose!
4) DIVIDE AND CONQUER - If you can, and have someone else there, I recommend one of you take your toddler for a short wander outside around the cafe (especially helpful if the cafe has gardens) after you’ve ordered while the other waits for the meal. Then when the food is ready, they’re more likely to be open to sitting back down if they’ve stretched their legs and enjoy the experience with you.
5) CHOOSE YOUR SEAT - I’m loving that most cafes now have bench seats available. You can put your handbag, baby-bag or cushion at one end to block the exit, your toddler in the middle and you sit on the other end. Gives them a fenced in play area to explore or to look out the window.
7) LIMIT THE HIGHCHAIR - If you do plan to use the highchair on offer, I recommend waiting until your food is ready before you sit your child in there. This way, they’ll be more likely to be happy sitting in there for the duration of the meal without getting too wriggly and asking to get out = the ability for you to finish your meal in its entirety = winning.
8) ANTICIPATE TO PARTICIPATE - There’s a saying I love, that I’m actually going to do a full blog post on, called ‘Anticipate to Participate’. The general gist of it is, if your child can anticipate what’s coming next, they’ll may be more likely to participate in what happens as they’re prepared for it. Whenever we go out for meals, I’ll explain to my toddler where we’re going, what we might be able to order (he loves ‘baby coffees’ aka coconut mylk golden lattes), and how long we’ll be staying there for. I’ll often explain that we will go home once we’ve finished our food as a way of clearly setting the boundary for him before we go in case he wants to leave earlier and I can explain to him that I can hear what he’s saying and we’ll leave as soon as we’ve finished our food.
9) HUNT OUT THE TOYS - Some cafes have toy boxes which can buy you extra time too. The novelty of a new toy is often enough to engage a toddler for enough time that you can drink a hot cuppa without it going cold first. I will usually pack two or three of his favourite toys to take with us too. It’s amazing how long a toy dump truck can keep a child entertained at a table!

If you’d like support setting clear boundaries with your toddler or demystifying their behaviour, get in touch, I’d love to chat it through.